USS Kickstart

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CPP Potkustartti
USS Kickstart
Production information
Model: Cruiser
Class: Constipation
Technical specifications
Maximum speed: Twist 7
Travel speed: Twist 4
Engine(s): Two twist-engines
Power source: Battery
  • Twinklers
  • Light ball launch bay
  • Escape craft: Space-sleds
    Crew: 100
    Communication system: P-Fleet comm. system
    Other systems:
  • Coffee-o-Matic;
  • Two sucking beams;
  • Halludeck;
  • Manual dynamo.
  • Usage
    Role: Battleship
    Affiliation: P-Republic - P-Fleet
    Captain: James B. Pirk
  • Mr. Spook;
  • Mr. Fukov;
  • Ms. Puhura;
  • Carlo;
  • Mr. Lyle;
  • Unspecified others.
  • The USS/ CPP Kickstart (Finn. USS/ CPP Potkustartti) was a P-Fleet Constipation-class cruiser under the command of Captain James B. Pirk. It participated in the Battle in Earth's orbit, and in the Battle of Fibula Sector, among possible others. It was destroyed shortly after the collision with the Plingon Battlebruiser due to an antimaterial gas leak.


    The USS Kickstart was a Constipation-class P-Fleet cruiser, capable of housing a crew of 100 people. Among its more prominent quarters were the bridge, the Aft-10 Lounge, and the Captain's room. It's twist-engines could accelerate up to Twist factor 7, but Twist factor 4 was generally enough for traveling.


    • Light balls - projectile-type, high-caliber, explosive weaponry. Fired four projectiles in one shot.
    • Twinkers - laser-type, low-caliber, beam weaponry.


    • Deflector plates - medium powered energy-shield. Generated a green force-field around the ship on impact.
    • Hull - could withstand several light ball and twinker shots; a direct collision with another ship.

    Other equipment[edit]

    In addition to its standard twist-engines, the ship ran on batteries that were necessary for its electrical systems to function. These could be recharged manually from a dynamo, if necessary. Aside from the standard computers, the bridge was outfitted with a Coffee-o-Matic, and a telly for video communication and strategic data. The Captain's post was located in the middle of the bridge. Tactical - the Weapons Officer's post - was located behind the Captain's post. It did not have a chair. The ship carried at least three space-sleds, which were used for short-distance transportation, or for evacuation, in the event of the ship's destruction. Additionally, there were two sucking beams - one in the front, and on in the rear.

    Service Record[edit]

    Among the Kickstart's most prominent missions are the Battle in Earth's orbit, when a renegade flotilla of Plingon ships attacked the USS Excessive in Earth's orbit, and the Battle of Fibula Sector, which took place five months later, when the Kickstart was tasked with protecting the P-Republic space borders from potential Plingon tresspassers. It is unknown if the two events are related, however, is it possible that the Kickstart was sent to Fibula Sector in order to investigate a potential Plingon invasion.



    Due to P-Fleet's sub-par financing, the Kickstart's the two weapons systems could not be fired at the same time. Additionally, the weapons terminal constantly malfunctioned, to the point of buttons being stuck, or the terminal overheating. Interestingly enough, the computer panel was liquid-proof. At the same time, running the ship's Red Alert alarm in unison with other systems would cause battery overloads.

    Behind the scenes[edit]

    The Kickstart is a parody of Starship Enterprise, after which it was modeled.

    Seen In[edit]