CPP Kalinka

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CPP Kalinka
Kalinka.jpg
Rendition
Production information
Class: P-Fleet Constipation
Technical specifications
Maximum speed: Twist 7
Travel speed: Twist 4
Engine(s):
  • Two Antimaterial-gas shove engine
  • Twist drive
  • Armament:
  • Twinklers
  • Light ball launch bay
  • Escape craft: Space-sleds
    Crew: 100
    Communication system: P-Fleet comm. system
    Other systems: Coffee-o-Matic
    Usage
    Role: Patrol ship
    Affiliation: Pirk's Empire
    • P-Fleet
    Captain: Sergei Fukov

    The CPP Kalinka was a P-Fleet Constipation-class starship.

    Characteristics[edit | edit source]

    Like any ship of its class, the Kalinka could house a crew of 100 individuals and its Light Ball launchers could fire up to four projectiles at once. In terms of speed, its twist drive could speed up to Twist factor 7, but Twist 4 was generally enough. It was also said to be the worst ship in the fleet, built out of the cheapest parts. The reason for this might have been Emperor Pirk's "love" for its captain.

    Weaponry[edit | edit source]

    • Light balls - projectile-type, high-caliber, explosive weaponry.
    • Twinkers - laser-type, low-caliber, energy weaponry.

    Armor[edit | edit source]

    • Deflector plates - medium powered energy-shield. Generated a green force-field around the ship on impact.
    • Hull - could withstand several light ball and twinkler shots.

    Other equipment[edit | edit source]

    Aside from the standard computers the bridge was outfitted with a Coffee-o-Matic, and a telly for video communication and strategic data. The ship carried at least one space-sled, which was used for short-distance transportation. The communication system seems to have been rather old, using an antiquated microphone and equally antiquated headphones. Additionally, the ship featured a teleportation device.

    Service Record[edit | edit source]

    The Kalinka was ordered to patrol the farthest reaches of P-Fleet space. In one such patrol it came across an unknown alien ship and promptly destroyed it, as per P-Fleet prime directive. It later joined the rest of P-Fleet on its campaign against Babel 13, and was the last P-Fleet ship standing after a long and difficult battle. In the end, following a badly-planned evasive maneuver, it got caught in a planet's gravity field, and ultimately crashed.

    Crew[edit | edit source]

    • Captain - Sergei Fukov; James B. Pirk (briefly)
    • Weapons' Officer - Cmd. Dwarf (briefly)
    • Tactical Adviser - Cmd. Info (briefly)
    • Helmsman - Lt. Swagger (briefly)
    • Unnamed others

    Trivia[edit | edit source]

    • The ship's name - Kalinka - comes from the famous Russian folk song and dance of the same name. This is fitting, given that its captain was Russian.
      • 'Kalinka' is also a diminutive of 'kalina' (Russian for 'Viburnum'), a flowering plant that is often featured in old Russian novels and folk stories.
    • The CPP Kalinka does not seem to parody any Star Trek ship, since Pavel Chekov - the inspiration for Fukov - never became a spaceship captain. While he did become First Officer on the USS Reliant, it is still too different to be conclusive.

    Seen in[edit | edit source]

    Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning

    Categories[edit | edit source]

    Starships